I'd skipped from attending teacher Sai's Biology class. haha. Not intended to, Mak have to pick me before Juma'at prayer. Just got my mid-term exam's result yesterday. Alhamdulillah, syukranlillah but I still not satisfied about it. I'm 5 % left behind from Imah. Jauh tu jauh! hehe. It had been long ago I never posted in English, it was just because someone said my english is terrible. No. That someone was comparing my English and Imah's. Of course Imah is better than me. No need to compare and tell me, I already knew it. She is good and much better than me in all of things. Takpe, aku tak jealous sebab dia baik~ Aw. And suddenly I felt ashamed of it and I stopped to write in English. Sungguh, mudah benar aku berputus asa! People will never change to be better if they never try to. Afraid to make mistakes. Fear of what people's say. Not eager to take any risk. It was not wrong at all to try although sometimes it will never turn out like what we wanted and we did mistakes. But at least we have the sastification of trying and confidence that we have the chances to be better. I admitted that I was afraid of critism, I did hate people say bad things about myself. I can't accepted it at all. But then, I keep thinking about it and realized that it was like I acted as a stupid person. To move to another step, we must have the confidence. Nice example, like myself. I knew my English was very terrible, miserable, rubbish, sounded very malay. If I continue being afraid of those thing, I'll be the same for 20 years in future. So I tried, it was not that easy, quite hard too. So what? People doesn't speak malay fully gramatically in daily conversation. So, same goes to English. Was it sounded very stupid when I speaked in English just because I'm not american or because I looked very kampung? Then, try and don't afraid to make mistakes because mistakes are loyal teacher to teach us.
I had a funny story last wednesday. I met teacher Mai, my cute physic's teacher in the masjid and greeted her. Just to say hello. Suddenly she asked me, is true I get an A for my physic's test and I answered suprisingly, yes and why? Do I look like student that should not get an A for physic? The funny thing she said yes, I looked like that I'm B or C students. Haha. I don't know whether it was a compliment or to condemn. Some of my friends told me that I have that blur-face. Stupid-looking, hah? So I know now. Besides having face of not mature teenager, or primary student, I also have that stupid look. haha.